Humility

Humility. Probably one of the hardest things to master in this world. True humility. I have met a few people that make it look so easy. I strive to be like them. For now, I will stick with struggling through it. They say pride is the deadliest of all sins. I believe that. I know that my pride keeps me from lots of things. It most certainly keeps me from living in the Cross.
I know that my pride often stops me from living as Christ lived. Selflessly. Because of my pride, I often have a hard time accepting help from people. I often have a hard time being open and honest with people because I am afraid of how they are going to respond to me. I often have a hard time being humble when people want to love me and serve me.
Often times I have to say to myself, "Christ knelt down and washed the feet of his 12 disciples, including Judas, who he knew was going to betray him and Peter, who he knew was going to deny him, and yet I can't seem to humble myself to serve someone, or go out of my way to allow someone to help me, or to help that person who has just tried my last nerve." One of the most beautiful moments in the Mass in the entire Liturgical year is at Holy Thursday Mass when the priest washes the feet of 12 congregation members. I was blessed enough to enough to experience this a few years ago. I cried during and after. It was such a humbling and amazing experience. For that brief moment, I was transported back to that night 2000 years ago when Jesus sat in the upper room and washed the feet of the Apostles.
I think one of the things that makes humility so hard is that our society has a problem with weakness. I know I for one grew up in house where it was unacceptable to show weakness. We (especially the girls) were expected to be strong. Not to depend on others, for anything. Going through life with that kind of mentality makes it really hard to be humble in moments of weakness. There is something inside that says "You don't need anyone. You only need yourself. Asking for help is weak." These are all lies that I know I have told myself over the years.
Sometimes the most humble thing is just to fall to your knees, look to heaven and remember that there is nothing that you can do without Christ. It is never easy to make the realization that we are too prideful. Sometimes I have to be knocked of my pedestal a couple dozen times before I realize that I need to remember that all the pride in the world isn't going to stop Christ from loving me and forgiving me.
Humility. I'm gonna keep on struggling towards it.