Getting sicker

I found out today that I am getting sicker. My blood clotting disease is getting worse. They have to up my medicine, which is bad because this isn't the kind of medicine that is meant to be taken for long periods of time. I have already been taking it for almost 6 years. In low doses it slowly starts destroying organs in your body. In the amount that I have to take it in, it is literally poisoning me, but there is nothing else that I could take that will keep my blood from clotting.
There are lots of things that I still want to do in my life. Getting married, be a mom, travel, make lots of memories. Most importantly, I want to know that I mattered to someone. That I made a difference in someone's life.
My dad and step-mom want me to move closer to them. At first, I was kind of hesitant to leave BG. I love my life here. I love my family and friends that I have here. I have a wonderful community and beautiful friends and a huge faith based community. The idea of leaving that is terrifying to me. But now, with this news, I am thinking that it might be something worth considering. I think I am going to see what I need to do to find a job out that way, and see what I can find.
I think that I need to work on rebuilding relationships and spend some time with my family. Who knows how much I have left?
I have been hoping for years that this would have gotten better. But since it clearly isn't, then I need to start dealing with it. Dealing with it alone is gonna suck, but I guess this is the path that God has made for me.
The fact that it's getting worse would explain the way that I have been feeling lately. I thought it was just in my head, so I am glad to know that there is a reason for it. Hopefully I will find some ways to combat this and it will hold off on consuming life just a little longer.
I am going to try to apply Fr. Matt's instructions: "Jesus, I trust in You." I just have to keep saying that to myself over and over again.

"Jesus, I trust in you."