Monday, June 16, 2014

Working on ME!

I haven't posted in quite some time. To say that this year has been very different than what I expected would be an understatement.

I started off the year in a very dysfunctional relationship, not really sure where things were heading with it, but I knew it wasn't healthy, but yet for some reason that made it all the more appealing to me. Ever notice that is typically the way it works in life? The more we know we shouldn't have something, the more we want it? I guess that is also part of being broken humans.

I wasn't financially in a good situation, at least not as good as I would have liked to have been in due to some unforeseen medical issues. I was super blessed in my living situation, so I wasn't as bad off as I could have been, but I wasn't where I wanted to be.

I was struggling at work. I was struggling with my purpose and feeling like I was making a difference. I was struggling with feeling like I somehow didn't belong there. I had been the new kid on the block and I was having a hard time finding my place and feeling like I fit in, which as it turned out, I do!

All of these things to say, I am sitting here, halfway through the 2014, and less than a month before my 28th birthday! OMGoodness! I am going to be 28! I need a moment to freak out about this detail in my life! I look around at some of my friends, and I think about how unaccomplished I am in my life. But then I ask, "Unaccomplished according to who? By whose standards?" I am have a beautiful life. I have 2 full time jobs, a part time job, I have my wonderful friends, I have my sister, Virtue, who I am not sure if it is safe for us to be together in public with the things that come out of our mouths! I have lots of other family that supports me as well.

I am excited to see what the next 6 months of 2014 bring my way! I cannot believe how things have changed in just a few short months! I am in such a better place financially, and for the first time, actually have money in the bank. And not just a few dollars until pay day. Like real money. With zeros behind it! I have felt so fulfilled at the end of the school year when my student was promoted to 1st grade! I helped with that! It made it all seem worth it!

As far as not fitting in at work....I think I kicked that stupid thought to the curb. I have found so many good people at my jobs and I have been blessed to get to know them and journey through the school year with them! They have been so supportive and encouraging to me when I was struggling! That support meant so much to me!

And lastly, the relationship- while I wish I could say that we were able to stay friends, that wasn't the case, and I realized I deserve better than what I was settling for. I am working on me and trust that when God is ready to show me the man that is meant to pursue me and that is worth trusting with my heart, that He will. For now, it's all about having fun and getting ready to celebrate my birthday MONTH! That's right, I get a whole month!


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