Thursday, March 27, 2014

5 Stages of Grieving -Anger

Anger is not an emotion that I usually care to spend much time on. In fact, out of all the emotions, only next to jealousy, it is the one I care for the least. Yet, somehow, Satan knows this, and is really working at keeping me at anger this week.

I find myself struggling through the grieving process over the loss of a friendship. No, this person did not die, but I am realizing that I need to be more obedient to what God calls us to do in Scripture. He tells us that it's okay to prune people out of our lives that don't bear fruit. This is something that I have struggled with for many years in my life.

I always give people second, third, fourth, twentieth chances. I keep allowing people into my life, even after they continue to hurt me. Somehow I feel like that is what I am supposed to do because I am a Christian and it's what God would want me to do. What I am realizing though, is that I am also God's chosen and beloved daughter and God would NEVER want me sobbing my eyes out because I've been hurt and broken so many times by the very people that swore they would never hurt me in the ways that I'd been hurt my whole life.

It's funny how Satan works in that way. He finds the very insecurities you struggle with the most, and uses them to break you down. I have chosen to keep trusting, despite being broken down over and over again. Anger has finally gotten the best of me. I went through Depression. Depression lasted only for a short time. Literally, a night. Anger came in the morning, and hasn't left. And from where I am sitting, it doesn't look like it plans on going anywhere any time soon.

I suspect Denial and bargaining are going to come about the same time. They are going to be equally difficult to deal with and I know that Satan is going to try to trick me into believing that I am not doing the right thing by ending this friendship. Sometimes people don't bear fruit into your life and it's okay to prune those people out of your life.

Usually my anger disappears as quickly as it comes on. I process through the situation in my head, pray about it, and then move on from it. This time, the more I process through it, the angrier I become. The more I pray about it, the angrier I become. I don't know what the difference is this time.

I am almost welcoming denial and bargaining. Anger seems to want to control everything. From daily conversations, prayer time, to even me being agitated with the cat for no reason.

Go Away ANGER!


No comments:

Post a Comment