Sunday, July 3, 2016

Here Comes the Dirty 30

So, as past posts indicate, I seem to always post a new blog right before my birthday. Well, as history seems to repeat itself, with my birthday a little over a week away, here is a new blog post.

I am sitting here, pondering all the things in my life that are going on and how different my life as turned out from where I thought I would be by now. I have an amazingly wonderful, kind, generous, loving, Godly man, who loves me and treats me so truly well. He has spent the last 4 months showing me that I not only am worthy of being loved and and cared for, but loving me and caring for me so well. He cares for my heart in ways that I didn't even know that I needed and he loves me in ways that I never imagined I could be loved. He accepts me for me and doesn't try to change me or make me into something that I am not.

We have a beautiful new apartment that we are slowing making into our home, together. It's not big, it's not fancy, but it's ours. Ours with Lucy, where we will continue building memories together and building our life together. We are learning our strengths and weaknesses about each other and learning what it's like not to be able to sleep through the night because you have a needy child that wakes you up in the middle of the night (the cat, not an actual baby).

I have a job where I am learning and growing daily. Every day is a challenge and everyday there is a new trial of patience and dealing with difficult customers and co workers. I am enjoying learning about cars, and even getting to work on them sometimes with the awesome technicians that I work with. Being a woman in my line of work can be challenging and rough because sometimes it is assumed that you don't know what you are talking about: well, let me assure you, that is not the case here. I ask questions, I am learning and growing.

I am learning to be strong, to be brave, and not to allow my past to define me. I have been through more hurt, struggles, pain, and sadness than most people will ever know in a lifetime. I've learned that finding someone who loves me through that and in spite of those things is amazing and truly a gift from God to be cherished and not taken for granted. The hurts and pains of my past will always be apart of who I am because they have shaped me and made me into who I am, but they do not rule my life and they do not get to dictate how I live my life now.

At some point you have to decide that you are going to live life on your terms, and not by what others try to define for you. I have always struggled with comparison and comparing myself to others and things they have that I don't or the things that I wanted and don't have yet. Life is coming together in ways that I never imagined, and I am loving this journey God has be on right now. I realized when I stopped comparing myself to others I was finally able to see all the amazing gifts and glory that God had given to me and was bestowing in my life.

I am a week away from celebrating my 30th birthday, and I am glad to see my 20's go. Not because they were so horrible, though I did experience great loss and more growth than I ever imagined, I am so excited to see what the next 10 years of my life have to offer. I imagine that they will be nothing short of amazing and full of more growth and trials. Can't wait to see the amazing plans God reveals to me.

Happy Birthday to me!!!!

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