Dear Lord,

Dear Lord,
That is how most of my journal entries start out. I have always been a big fan of journaling. I remember writing pages in my diary. Yes, I had a diary. It was the one place I could say and think whatever I wanted, and I couldn't get in trouble. Or so I thought. I will never forget that sinking feeling when I found out that my mother had been reading my diary all along. Now, as an adult, I am very protective of my journals.
Somewhere along the lines, they stopped being diaries and started becoming my means of communication with God. I know that God hears me when I talk to Him, but I also know that He hears me when I write to Him. I am not always the most eloquent speaker, and I have found great solace and comfort in writing things down when I don't know what to say.
If you are new to my blog you might think that I don't often make alot of sense in the things that I write. Well, sorry about your luck. If you are looking for something that is beautiful and flows well from one thought to the next, you are in the wrong place. I pretty much write whatever I am feeling in the moment, and it might not all make sense. I think that is why I started to journal my prayers to God, because I didn't think they were making a whole lot of sense (not that writing them down is going to guarantee that they do, either).
In spiritual direction the other day, I was instructed by Fr. Matt to keep praying and journaling about the things we talked about. I thought that this was going to be one of the harder assignments that I had been given. However, I realized that if this is the way that I talked to God, then it should be easy.
The other day, while having a conversation with my good friend Steve, I expressed that I had been having a really hard time finding God in things and that I was sad all the time. He reminded me that I had come from a really bad desert, and God had led me to a pond of water to drink from, and now that I have drank and experienced love and friends and being loved, God is moving me forward through the rest of the desert and onto a bigger lake of water.
I have been so blessed these last three years with the most amazing people in my life. I cannot even begin to put into words how wonderful these people are. Cameron, Marley, Steve, Sandy, Andrew, Brittany, Anthony, Katie, and Michael just to name a few. As Steve told me, not only am indeed loved, I am LOVABLE! Who knew? Not me, that's for sure! It has been a sweet realization and feeling since hearing that. I'm not saying I completely believe it, but it's a sweet thought nonetheless.
These are my crazy thoughts. I hope you all enjoy them!
Love your daughter,
Jasmine