This is going to be a rant, and I don't care.
So it seems as of late I keep getting unto the same argument with my friends, especially all my guy friends. Now, let me just say that I love my guy friends dearly. They are some amazing Godly men. HOWEVER, they are really, really frustrating me these days!
I have never in my entire life, been met with so much resistance about what girls can and can't do. I admire the idea that the men in my life want to be chivalrous, but there is a point where they stop being chivalrous, and starting being sexist I feel. I know that these this may be harsh, but it is something that I am struggling with. I think that if women are willing and want to do things, it is not a man's job to tell her that she can't. For example, if we want to lift things, or set up, or whatever, it is not their place to deny us that right.
Now, maybe I feel this way because I grew up in a home where work was not broken down by men and women, boys or girls. The boys and girls did the same chores as each other. Mowing the law, taking out the trash, shoveling the snow, lifting, laundry, cooking. Everything was shared equally among everyone. So now to have people tell me that not only I shouldn't do something, that I am not allowed, is really really frustrating and really hurts.
I grew up hearing I wasn't good enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough, or just plain enough. The way I dealt with that was trying to be better than everyone else. I excelled in sports, in school, in the things I did. I have a really hard time being told I shouldn't do something, and when someone tells me I can't do something, it makes me all that much more determined to do it.
I have never, nor will ever be okay with being treated like a delicate piece of crystal that is going to break. I have a hard enough time putting limitations on myself because of my medical conditions. When I can do something and I want to, I do not feel as though it is another person's place to tell me that I can't. I'm sorry. But whether the guys realize it or not, it is incredibly hurtful to hear that I am not allowed to do things, or participate in activities with them.
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hmm, I just came across your page from facebook today. Thanks for sharing. I can relate. I think I'd feel stuffy and quenched if I wasn't allowed to serve in ways that excite my heart and cause me to want to worship God and be a love offering to others. When I'm in a room where chairs need to be set up, for example, it takes a lot to keep myself from helping. This includes lifting chairs and all. Now if something is too heavy and I need a guy, it can be humbling to ask. I can't express how joyful it makes me, causing me to want to worship and excited to love. I don't think I could survive long if I was in a place where I felt like I was being put in a box or held back. Being involved with serving and living to the fullest blesses me and causes me to want to glorify God. Perhaps I'm unique, but if I enjoy doing something and if it is obviously not a man's job due to need of strength or something, I do it and I do it for Him; expecting guys to be the same (if a job is a "cliche girl job", but causes him to want to worship and glorify God, why SHOULDN'T He do it?). Makes no sense.
ReplyDeleteidk, I'm not one for cultural traditions or "roles". I'm for worship. Unless something is CLEARLY marked in the Bible within the context, I'm not quick to conform to others (though showing respect to those in authority- if something like that bothered me enough, I'd leave so I wouldn't feel boxed in). I say this because it has caused me to leave places before.